jai gurudev
i had the privilege of meeting sri sri ravishankar yesterday. i had attended the rajat jayanti celebrations a few months ago in banglaore, but i did not get to see/meet him up close then.
i have not been his devotee or even a follower. i greatly appreciate the sudarshan kriya that he has devleoped, having experienced its benefits first-hand. but i was not mesmerised by his pictures or his voice, or the idea of him. the first thing actually that bothered me about him was his rather pompous sounding title "sri sri". i recall asking a friend of mine (who had begun working with the AOL foundation) why he referred to himself thus. and she mentioned that he didn't. his devotees called him sri sri, as an expression of their loving respect for him. it didn't convince me.
then, when i did the AOL course, i heard everyone around me say "jai gurudev". there was a large picture of his, adorned with fresh flowers and burning incense. it all made it seem like a cult, and yes, it made me uncomfortable. i was interested in the breathing exercise and the yoga, and all the "guruji this" and "guruji that" disturbed me. and even while i practiced the kriya, i haboured doubts about him. i could never look upon him as a personal god, the way his followers did. in fact, i have always been resistant to reposing all my faith in a single person. to my mind, he was certainly a highly accomplished spiritual soul, but not THE person in whom i should believe, exclusive of all others.
and then i met him. the doubts about him that i had harboured vanished when his first glance fell upon me. the ocean of peace and love that was him simply embraced me, negativities and all, and that was it. i had no doubts, no questions left in my heart. when i touched his feet, he blessed me and said "jai gurudev". it was THEN that i understood what 'jai gurudev' meant.
yet, when i sat around him with about 10 other people, for whom he was undoubtedly THE one, i felt a bit odd. i am still not mesmerised to the extent that i can call myself a 'proper' bhakt, that i can devote my heart and soul to him and only him. perhaps i am myself not ready to receive his love fully. but now, i feel a profound respect and awe for him that i did not feel before. i feel humbled and peaceful. and yes, i feel truly grateful to have received the blessings of such a spiritual being.
i have not been his devotee or even a follower. i greatly appreciate the sudarshan kriya that he has devleoped, having experienced its benefits first-hand. but i was not mesmerised by his pictures or his voice, or the idea of him. the first thing actually that bothered me about him was his rather pompous sounding title "sri sri". i recall asking a friend of mine (who had begun working with the AOL foundation) why he referred to himself thus. and she mentioned that he didn't. his devotees called him sri sri, as an expression of their loving respect for him. it didn't convince me.
then, when i did the AOL course, i heard everyone around me say "jai gurudev". there was a large picture of his, adorned with fresh flowers and burning incense. it all made it seem like a cult, and yes, it made me uncomfortable. i was interested in the breathing exercise and the yoga, and all the "guruji this" and "guruji that" disturbed me. and even while i practiced the kriya, i haboured doubts about him. i could never look upon him as a personal god, the way his followers did. in fact, i have always been resistant to reposing all my faith in a single person. to my mind, he was certainly a highly accomplished spiritual soul, but not THE person in whom i should believe, exclusive of all others.
and then i met him. the doubts about him that i had harboured vanished when his first glance fell upon me. the ocean of peace and love that was him simply embraced me, negativities and all, and that was it. i had no doubts, no questions left in my heart. when i touched his feet, he blessed me and said "jai gurudev". it was THEN that i understood what 'jai gurudev' meant.
yet, when i sat around him with about 10 other people, for whom he was undoubtedly THE one, i felt a bit odd. i am still not mesmerised to the extent that i can call myself a 'proper' bhakt, that i can devote my heart and soul to him and only him. perhaps i am myself not ready to receive his love fully. but now, i feel a profound respect and awe for him that i did not feel before. i feel humbled and peaceful. and yes, i feel truly grateful to have received the blessings of such a spiritual being.
posted by sattva at 3:58 AM
6 Comments:
thanks for sharing this.
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It is your ego's need to appropriate Guruji exclusively for itself that is doing most of the resisting. This is natural. After all, the connection one makes with the knowledge cannot be expressed in words. Will I ever forget my first SK experience, or the Advanced Course or the DSN? Never!
I suffer from the same affliction. I am much too independent of intellect (there's that I-ness again) to become a 100% devotee (oops, does that mean I am not giving my 100%? ;)). If you read Sri Aurobindo's Essays on the Gita, you may also rationalize this sense of I-ness as being beneficial for spiritual progress. I keep doubting, but I am also sharply critical of my doubting self. The question - why is this doubt arising? - is of supreme importance, in my opinion.
As Guruji says, there is no problem if you go 100% into your doubt. It causes so much pain only when you are neither here nor there. It's all the more disturbing when the bhakti in you gets diluted and what you thought to be unshakeable faith gets shaky. I console myself that truth remains what it is whether you see it or not. Things seem to get better when I drop judgements about my thoughts and feelings being good or bad. Jai Gurudev!
vb, i see what u mean. i have often wondered why i doubt, and i think it maybe that my egoistic desires (to know more of truth) are the hurdle. so i take consolation in vivekanand who said that u must doubt, u must question, as long as u have an open mind.
amused, thanks for that. yes, the truth just is. it's us who are blind.
You have a very nice Blog Sattva and your interests in Sri Sri are not out of place because though I dont know much about him except that he has a very large number of admirers - I think he must have learnt the science of Behavioral Science by instinct rather than learing - so your awe of him is not misplaced. The other posts on your blog are also very nice and so is the poetry - Keep it up and thanks for the comments on my Blog too.
Deepak
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