the great leveller

so we're born and then we die. we experience the magic of birth and the devastation of death. we always take birth to be the starting point, but death could be the beginning too. or maybe neither is, or both are. according to hindu philosphy, there is no beginning and no end. living finite lives with our limited ability to understand ourselves and the universe, we try and try to conceive of and experience the "truth", the infinite. the more fortunate among us succeed. others despair, still others persevere.

when it comes to death, one is always seeking some sort of consolation, in the hope that it will assuage the pain, facilitate the coping. the christians and muslims believe in the concept of heaven, and that reassures them a place with the gods in the after-life. hinduism proposes reincarnation. i am a believer, so it provides some consolation for me. i cannot speak for the atheists and agnostics, i do not know how they rationalize death. but whatever the consolation, it is after all, just that: a mere something we tell ourselves to make us feel better, to somehow convince ourselves that the departed has transitioned to a better state, transported to a happier place.

and yet, when you have to face the death of someone you love, all these abstractions somehow fail to crystallize into an effective coping mechanism, at least initially, when the wound is still very raw. ironic, for that's when one needs it the most. to me, death is the greatest leveller. it humbles man like nothing else. the helplessness hits you where it hurts the most. it rocks your world, slices you like a knife and leaves you begging. begging for mercy, for strength, for salvation.

r and s, i pray that you do not have to beg. that you find the strength you need. and that even in the face of death, your zest for life doesn't die.